The Waiting is the Hardest Part (and other song lyrics that describe my life)

We are down to the wire. The kids finish school in six weeks. Our visas expire in seven weeks. At some point very soon we have to give notice to our landlord here and our tenant in the US. But we don’t know if we’re staying or going. Going or staying?! Staying or going? Aaack! This indecision me molesta.

We are waiting for a call about a job and a possible relocation. The call, which has been delayed for a variety of reasons, will determine if we stay or go. We are not waiting patiently. Andrew checks all possible forms of communication every few minutes, and then sings the ‘watched pot never boils’ song. He reads his horoscope daily, looking for answers. One site is not enough- he has broadened his astrological horizons and checks a number of sites, in English and Spanish. I found him the other day on Dogstrology. I think that may have been an accident, unless he’s wondering how all this uncertainty is effecting our dog.

In the next few weeks we will have to set some plan in motion. Any plan. I don’t care at this point. And that’s how I deal with the situation. I say things like, I don’t even care at this point. I’m trying to live in the moment and not stress too much because there isn’t a lot I can do about it. I think my mom would say I need to envision what I want and put that out into the universe (or tell me to move to VT). But I’m not sure what I want. There are so many things that would make me really happy about going home: being closer to family, friends and Trader Joe’s, making phone calls in my own language, seeing my nephew who I haven’t met yet (who I accidently referred to as my grandson in Spanish today and the person I was talking to didn’t even blink, which is terrifying).

But when I think about leaving Colombia, I immediately start to miss it. I’ll miss the mountains, the flowers, the birds, and the elegant Colombian Spanish. I’ll miss our friends here, although most of them are leaving too. Most of all, I’ll miss the weather. While that might sound shallow, you need to understand that Medellin has the world’s best climate. The temperature ranges from 75-85, every day, year round. You can leave the windows open all the time, no heat or AC required. In the evening, the air is the exact same temperature as your skin. It’s like being in a sensory deprivation tank. It is perfect. Why would you live anywhere else? I grew up in a place where you need to wear a winter hat inside and there are no leaves on the trees from October to June. I cannot overstate the importance of Medellin’s perfect climate on my happiness and well-being. And it’s hard to imagine leaving it.

A perfect climate means you can grow almost anything, anytime. Something is always in bloom. And the birds…  Do you know that Colombia has more species of birds than any other country? The Birds of Colombia book is 996 pages long. I really shouldn’t leave until I can identify at least a dozen, by their real names. I got hung up on the guacamaya- the macaw parrot. I’m so fixated on the guacamaya I haven’t learned the proper names of the others I see all the time, which I refer to as medium powder blue bird, tiny red bird, swallow looking bird that likes bamboo, the bird that sounds like a screaming toddler, yellow and black bird that’s everywhere, and super aggressive wetland bird that hangs out by the school. If we ever get another paycheck, I will buy that giant Birds of Colombia book.

Instead of deciding what I actually want, or putting some plan in motion, or packing the boxes, I will wait a little longer and share these photos of the flowers of Medellin, which make me stop to smell them every day.

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And bonus, the guacamayas!

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4 Comments on “The Waiting is the Hardest Part (and other song lyrics that describe my life)”

  1. angels2you2 says:

    you are a great writer! always make me laugh… you don’t look like a grandmother!

    Like

  2. Sue says:

    Such beautiful photos. “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will lead you there.” (Lewis Carroll and George Harrison) popped into my head when I read this. Don’t know how you feel when you read that though. 🙂 Sorry I can’t be of more help. Love you though!

    Like

  3. Ellen Orleans says:

    Gosh, I’m not sure which outcome to root for either, but know, as a bystander, I am energetically waving pom-poms in your support. If you stay, I’ll visit you and we can learn bird names together. If you head back to the states, I’ll send everyone birthday cards to catch all at once.

    Like

  4. vanessa bogaert says:

    In a very remote village here in Antioquia, I was asked if I was was a grandmother by a young child, who was also a mother. When I said ‘no’ she looked utterly surprised. I went out of my body and looked at me from her young mother eyes. I shivered. EEEks !

    Like


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